Wow is that really true? I can see my husband having unresolved childhood issues that him and his mom will deny, lie about to themselves, and ignore through work (husband) and compulsive need for clean house and holiday decorations and work and just taking on everything (mil). It's funny cause husband paints me as dysfunctional one with chaotice, critical and unorganized family.
Julie, I think it's true. If you think about it, we all have our faults, there is nobody who is married who can honestly say their spouse is perfect. But the thing is how you choose to react to it, how you choose to interpret it. My H thinks I exaggerate. Sometimes I have exaggerated. I am not a liar, but I think everyone distorts things a bit in their minds, everyone might say "I spent $10" When they really spent $9, that type of thing. Because of H's childhood, his mother lied ALL of the time and still does, and changes the truth to fit her needs and "win", he cannot handle an exaggeration- he thinks I am trying to "pull something on him." Someone who didn't have that childhood issue, would simply think "she's exaggerating a bit" and not think twice. Or be mildly annoyed. Or not even notice. Because it isn't an issue for them.
Also, thank you Julie, for your question for me earlier. You really made me think hard and I have come to the conclusion that what my H really needs is not for me to change (I can and will change anyway because its the right thing to do), but I really believe what he needs is to be validated. Your question brought me to this discovery. This is huge, and very liberating for me, I will get back to you once I have had a chance to test this theory. I really believe this might be key though, it fits the psychology, it fits DB, it is easier than changing my whole personality, (and healthier too!). Thank you.
