Hi Bold, thanks for your input...yes, focusing on the problem free timesis a good place to put my mind right now. you're right,my H is home, has never left or even said he wanted D, (said that was his original plan) just keeps on w/OW....I absolutely can't comprehend how you cope w/your H living w/OW...you must be incredibly strong, I don't think I could do it. Many days my one comfort is that he's still at home, and I tell myself that the longer he stays, the better chance I have.
S has been gone all weekend, I thought maybe we could have a really romantic time, but we've spent so much time trying to buy a vehicle, we're both pooped. so not much spark flying. I just feel kind of numb today...
Sometimes it seems like the devil tries to throw this stuff in my face though....Friday at noon, I used H's cell phone to try to call the bank from the car dealers....don't know how I did it, but somehow I got OW, she just told me I had wrong #, but I recognize her ugly voice. H always thinks I'm checking up on him, so I told him about it incase he found the call in his phone, he just laughed....don't know if I should have said anything or not....I waited 24 hours and still couldnt decide, so I did.
I also did very bad db'ing....asked him (in same discussion)if it was accurate that he told me last thursday that he wasnt seeing OW....he said it was....didn't look like he was lieing,either
H went to the office yesterday, I'm kind of thinking maybe he really did....When he came in the door, 1/2 hour late, which is unusual, it was really weird. His face was all red, like he had been crying, although I saw no tears, He almost yelled at me that it was Palm Sunday, walked right by me and went up stairs. He seemed kind of down all night....I wonder if they are fighting again? Oh,How I wish.... I'm so stressed and out of it, I am going to have to force myself to get "up" .....just feel blah today for some reason....have been really tired all week, for no discernable reason.
