Pho's thread- solving problems

[Dawgs]

Hi Pho! Thank you for stopping by in mine! It does seem that our situations are very similar. Maybe that's why reading your thread helps me, too.

In the last 2 months twice I "caught" H realizing that one of his earlier statements was completely proven to be false, and he got a really confused look on his face and got really quiet. Big improvement over 6-9 months ago when he would have flipped out and accused me of something really odd, like causing his mother's fibromyalgia. So he is coming out of it, but it has been extremely slow and painful and I do not trust him yet.

My W goes quiet, too. She will argue at times but she almost always tries to shift it to me. For example, I called her out the other day for rewriting history on a certain thing and she immediately came back with "or maybe its you" thing. That must be a famous line or something like that. But the best one of all came when the MC called her out - we were discussing on why I don't need a "break" from the kids and go out for an all-day thing (or the like) like she has sometimes needs to do (some people do need to recharge at times, and she is one) and when I said I prefer to stay with the kids she went ballistic. One of the few times she has ever reacted like that in MC...she went on about "now I am a bad mother" and the like. The MC calmed her down and told her that wasn't the message that she got and that some people don't need that recharge time. To which the W replied, well thats the way I see it. So, you kind of get a small glimpse of my world.

We also have MC tomorrow night and I am dreading it. Overall the sessions have been going better, but in the last session H seemed really agitated over the fact that I don't like biking. With the same intensity as if I didn't like sex, or something serious. Funny thing is, it has probably been a year since H got on his bike, so wtf is he even talking about? And even then, he has a couple of guy friends who he used to bike with, can't that be his guy thing?

The MC will be fine! Just go into it with an open mind and let things happen. I try to not take things personally (extremely hard to do when it is the love of your life) and that helps me to look at things differently. Kind of like the "don't believe what they say" sort of thing. It's just them putting their own issues on us. That's all. I am hoping that at some point a break through will happen in ours because she does seem to talk best there, but I never go in with any sort of hope - in fact, as with you, I dread ours too, because that seems to be the time I get attacked the most.

Thank you for helping me in mine! I follow yours because ours is so similar and I draw strength from yours. Thank you again!