I'm not saying pull back more I'm saying change how your pulling back and your mindset in doing it, because it doesn't seem like your doing it right. A DB coach would be the best place to get answers to help your specific sitch. There is a legitimate concern that the WAS will think you don't want them if your acting a certain way but I dont think that's not what's happening in your case. Even if she were to say that to you. She's searching for a man to make her happy, she's wayward. She doesn't want to be in a relationship eirh you and blames you for being unhappy. She will keep looking for that magic button (man) that is going to fix it all and make her happy. This is why you let her live her life and you become the man only a fool would leave. It [censored] but there's not much you can do there.
Again, how did you know about what she was talking about?
It's not that you asked her to go to the party, it's how you did it. You asked once, she said she didn't know, you then asked again and she replied you could just take then. Your pursuing her right here. If you really wanted to ask her you would have asked once and when she said she didn't know you should of said something like "ok well I'll be getting the tickets for me and the kids this day so if you decide you do want to join us let me know before then" and leave it. Better yet you should have said "I'm taking the kids to the Christmas party if you wanted to join us let me know before (date) so I can get you a ticket" and leave it there.
Another thing, "ask her to give me a second chance" is not the attitude of a man only a fool would leave. That will absolutely backfire and not work the way you want. Just like thinking you missed a chance when she was crying to say that. You might have missed a chance to validate but not to win her back by a single comment.
Her telling you she was taking the kids to her brothers house and you asking why you weren't invites? Why? You know the answer, she wants you to see this IS HOW THINGS WILL BE IN THE FUTURE. Accept it for now and respect that. You questioning her is showing how attached you are to needing a relationship with her, which is very unattractive. You need to change your view. She's taking the kids to her brothers and you're thinking why she didn't ask you to go when you should be thinking what can you do with this free time to GAL and have some fun.
She doesn't want a man who she can give a second chance to, she wants a man who loves her but can live without her, one she might actually lose. She just doesn't know the last part can be you but you need to become that man first before she can.
Sorry this post is all over the place, I wanted to jot down a few thoughts but I'm quite busy right now with work and family stuff.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
