Her family lives a few miles away. She asked them for financial support to get a place and they said no that they did not think it was the right thing to do. Her parents told me about her request. She has no idea that I know. She works but does not make enough to get a place large enough for her and two kids. 75% of our income is from my job.
Hang in there. It's posts like this that are helping me too. just do what they tell you to here. I wish I found this site 6 months ago. I may have been able to salvage my M.
H 50 W 46 T 31 M 24 EA 11.11.15 PA not sure. Dx3 Separated 5.12.15 (not legally)
It sounds like her parents have a good head on their shoulders. I wish my in-laws were like this. Mine or the epitome of enablers. They treated her like she was going off to college and bought her all new furniture.
Me: 30's W: 30's M: 12yrs EA: Started 3/2015 MC Started: 4/2015 She moved out and served 6/2015 PA: Confirmed 10/5/2015 2 young kids
"If you do not stand for something you will fall for anything."
Sorry to hear that about your wife's parents! Yes they have been helpful but still no change in her attitude! She has not returned a text message since Wednesday. I check in once a day asking about the kids and no response. The last time I spoke with her was a week ago when she called.
I would throw in my 0.02 and agree with everyone who advised not to move out or give any verbal indication that you're going to. I think there are legal issues there as well as things that affect the family and kids.
That doesn't mean she won't move out. Mine ultimately did. But your focus right now should be on you and the kids. It's never wrong to do what's right, and if there are changes you need to make for yourself and the kids then stay home and do that. Whatever happens with the wife, your kids and you will benefit. She may D you, and I really hope she doesn't, but the kids and you will be together for the rest of your lives one way or another, so you want them to have that confidence and stability from you. It's important, no matter what your W or society might sometimes say.
And remember...when you're home and being a good dad to the kids, they will know that and see that and learn that, and nobody will ever be able to tell them different.
We're in the same neck of the woods, if your handle is correct - Minnesota? In a similar situation, too.
My wife just got very unhappy very quickly. I couldn't figure out the hatred coming my way all the time - in the past we argued quite a bit, and never worked on the marriage much. She kept on saying 'I'm just sick of 15 years of crap'... and then I found the messages, that they met up, and it all came together. Getting her to admit to her EA/PA is one thing - watching my wife in the 'fog' of the affair is another. Sounds like your wife is in the fog.
Hang in there. Get a consultation with a divorce lawyer - one that is recommended to you. I did, and got awesome advice, and if the D comes, which it might, I know who I'm going with. What he said led me to wait it out until my wife comes around (which might happen - small changes happening day by day), or she files. Until then, working on myself. Keep on focusing on having awesome conversations with the kids, and make work something you enjoy.
M46, EXWW46 M15 T17 D20, S19, D13 M - Addiction since 1998 W EA/PA #1 2013/2014 W EA #2 June 2015... BD 1 Big D talk 9/15 BD 2 - EA/PA disc 10/30/15 Served D 1/22/16 Divorced 5/25/16 (yes, that fast!)
Thanks for the note! I've been home for a week now and my wife has been avoiding me. Very little communication but she did say in a phone call that she looked at an apartment and talked to a lawyer but was not going to act on either one at this time but that she would eventually. I'm having a hard time finding anything positive to bring up because she is keeping her space. She does not want to be anywhere near me. I just do the things around the house and with the kids that need to be done. When I ask if she has something specific that she would like to see done she always says no. I feels like she is mean on purpose just to push me away possibly.
