Hi Spiff, thank you. Actually at times our MC does ask me to validate, now that I am thinking about it, but then usually H launches into spew and some of the things he says are just kind of "out there" and H gets so worked up, that's when the MC just nods and lets H wear himself out. He went off about how he doesn't even know if the dog gets fed? And that I use crazy hand gestures? Stuff like that. And if the MC asks H to validate me, he cannot do it, gets it completely wrong, and then the counselor role plays H validating me.
I think my H has been too angry to really participate honestly in counseling, although he seems to have calmed down quite a bit lately so maybe that can change.
My W doesn't go to that extent. Her attacks are more personal in nature in some cases, but most it is just little petty stuff. In her latest one, she said that I was incapable of making a decision. I was like WTF? Where did that come from? I always tried to get her opinion on things as any good couple does.
I can imagine the hell to come in our next session. If you have checked into mine today, you will see what I am talking about. She told me last night that she feels me and the counselor don't hear her. Now keep in mind that our counselor is pro-marriage and tries to get us to work out. It almost seems as if she wants our counselor to validate her feelings on leaving.
If you have read any of my W's history that I told about, you may get an insight. I love this woman to death. There is no other for me. I didn't know of her personal issues (well, the depth of them) until after the BD. I don't know if I should be concerned about that or not. My W has said on occasion that when things got tough, she ran in previous relationships.
Feel free to stop in on mine - I can use all of the help I can get! Haha.
It almost seems as if - maybe it is just mine - that when things of theirs get debunked, they almost go into an "insane" mode - maybe that will explain my W's attacking little things. Maybe yours, too? It just seems those crazy things your H uses is almost a cover up or some kind of excuse??
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
