The test will be when my wife decides to want to go to live in separate houses
Ghost
Don't fear this. You will surprise yourself with the resolve you have deep down inside.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Yep, NDY has summed this up perfectly. Fear. Once you realise that the world hasn't ended, pick yourself up and be confident. Ghost can become human again!
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
I could,change the world and she would not give a [censored] I could change everything and she would not change her decision
That's what we have tried to tell you, Ghost. Do what you want for yourself, instead of doing it for her and thinking it will persuade her mind.
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I just never saw things as being so bad
Sure you have! It's been this way for months. Just please do not get off into another spin, based on what she said. I think she's doing it to keep you acting like a puppet dancing around.
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The test will be when my wife decides to want to go to live in separate houses
So? Listen, you have made this same statement in the past. It starts you spinning. Don't go there again. Don't talk about your W and what she says. Who cares what she says? You shouldn't.
Please don't start all over again with this mindset. Don't type it all over again. Type something positive about Ghost.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
just re reading the rules is this something you think I should keep doing
Just rereading them may not be enough. Are you actually doing what they say?
I think you need to stop listening to what your W says about the future. I think you need to stop posting about her. Talk about yourself. She hasn't changed. You are the one moving forward. We want to hear about you. Talking about her, only upsets you.
Are you reading both those books at the same time? IMHO, you should read one book through to the end, before starting another book. But that's just me. NMMNG is very short.
Last edited by sandi2; 11/17/1508:31 PM.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Since you keep bringing up living in a different house maybe you should make a list of things you will like in a new house/apartment. You keep mentioning how it will be so horrible and if you keep that attitude it will be.
You can make it an awesome thing to look forward to(if it comes to it, since its out of your control) or you can make it a miserable hellhole. Its your choice, W isn't the one who will decide what you make of your life.
Good books to read. I did both also and they are very useful for understanding so many things about who we are and why we acted in the ways we did.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
Yes, I agree about working on the inner resistance to moving. Best to actually start working with that reality and it will become less scary. Fact is, you have little control over this. Your W could up and leave at any point if she chose - it is best if you can work with what is and figure out the best life possible for you if this eventuality comes to pass.
Last edited by Sotto; 11/18/1508:15 AM.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
