She really has no ability to express her feelings or discuss any of this. She really has nothing to say, or is reluctant to say. When we were at counseling the counselor would say something basically trying to get a response from my wife and she said nothing. I think that angered me more than anything that was spoken there. She really said very little and what she said except for finding out that the guy was from north carolina and the realization that she drove to him. I was mad. This was when I drove around and realized that she may not have it in her to fix this, it can't just be me.
This is so incredibly backwards.
Here are some thoughts: 1) You cannot FIX her. She has to decide to do the work on herself.I think you are seeing that.
2) It ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY CAN be just you. In fact, right now, it HAS to be just you. The first step is you improving yourself. She is not going to come back to or stay in a marriage that is identical to the one you two had before. And if she cant or is unwilling to change, then YOU have to be the first. The key is HOW to change - and for that, Id recommend getting the books so you can understand more clearly how to proceed.
