I'm willing to do what it takes. I've tried to interact with her in many ways, I don't know how to connect with her. Im not saying you have or you havent. Maybe google the 5 Love Languages. Take the test. Take the test as if you were her. See how they compare. Then consider whether youve spoken to her in THAT manner.
We connected fine in the beginning obviously but it went away quickly after we were married. Well, yes. The dopamine rush of a new relationship wears off. Then what? Thats OK. You arent going to be head over heels gaga for each other forever. So how do you keep a healthy relationship of companionship, partnership, caring, tenderness, intimacy, love, etc....
As far as what have I done for myself? LOL I don't know what that means. I mean I train Jiu Jitsu, or I've worked out. I try to play guitar very badly, or bass very badly... that's it. I mean, what kinds of changes are you instilling in yourself? You CANNOT be the same person going forward as you were in the past. That path led you to here, with your W having affairs. So, CLEARLY, something was wrong. So what are you doing for yourself to become a person that she would be a fool to leave? I dont just mean physically. I mean in all aspects of life - as a father, as a friend, as a man, as a person, etc.
"OK. Saying it is one thing. Taking actions to actually show this is another thing. What is she doing to let you know she is serious? From what you describe, it sounds like she is hoping this just "goes away".
Well, nothing really we barely speak. This has nothing to do with her WORDS. Even if you were speaking, you cant believe anything she says anyway. Look at actions.
I'm giving her space, I'm not crowding her as I did last week with all the questions etc. So last night, I came home at 9 she was asleep. We spoke briefly at jiu jitsu, just chit chat as she worked out and my son had jiu jitsu. This morning she sat next to me in bed for about a minute, then got in the shower. Then told me my son needed stuf signe in his homework book. She texted me hows work. Thats it. Not sure if any of that is helping. So what makes you think she "wants this to work" besides her saying "I want this to work"?
When I came home from work on friday after i spoke to a counselor for me, we spoke I told her what the counselor said. My wife just said "this [censored]".. then we went to eat pizza with the kiddo and saw amateur boxing. I thought the counselor was for you? Why are you sharing all of it with her? Are you telling her everything I tell you also...?
