Pho's thread- solving problems

[Dawgs]

Hey Pho, allow me to jump in! In my thread you asked a question - not sure you saw it, but here you go:

What I am curious about, is what does your therapist do when your W spews at you or brings up random things to complain about during MC? Our therapist seems to just nod and act like he is hearing H complain about the weather, like it is no big deal. Usually at the end of a session he will comment casually something like "In every marriage there are things that can drive us crazy about our spouse, the key is to focus on the positive" or some such statement that goes right past H. I am just wondering how other therapists respond to this stuff.

Our therapist doesn't work that way for the most part. Like yours seems to be, ours seems to be intent on saving the marriage. Whenever my W attacks, the therapist first gets me to validate what she said. After she makes sure I understood what the W was saying, then most times she will ask the W to dig a little deeper. That is when the W starts balking a little and doesn't give full explanations. My W has now taken the stance that me and the counselor are not listening to her.