She says she wants this to work. She says she chose me and new she messed up when she did it.
OK. Saying it is one thing. Taking actions to actually show this is another thing. What is she doing to let you know she is serious? From what you describe, it sounds like she is hoping this just "goes away".
Originally Posted By: ktfo
The problem I have is, I'm not sure she's willing to do what it would completely take for the both of us to be happy again. I know it's going to take time and I hope it does, because I truly love her but I think she's so stubborn and really is a : well you just have to deal with it instead of coming to a compromise. I've tried to talk to her for years, to try to improve US. I've tried to spark the relationship, I've tried alot but she's not really willing to do this stuff. I've had her brothers and father even apologize to me LOL
Youve tried doing a lot with or for HER. What have you done for yourself? Have you thought about her love languages - are you trying to speak through those?
Originally Posted By: ktfo
It takes 2.
False.
So very much incredibly false.
It starts with YOU. You need to change the way you interact with her. You need to work to push her "positive" buttons. THEN, you can start to see changes in her.
But you do not need her to start the process.
Originally Posted By: ktfo
I'm willing to try and forgive her, and try to reestablish our bond. but as I said to her, we had issues before this, I thought of leaving because I think she is incapable of working on her/me/us. Doing for each other, in all ways! Simple things like: gifts even small ones during the holidays, I've not received one in 8 years. Anniversary anythings even a card would be nice... I've been an after thought to her for a long time, but she maintains she loves me.
After you read DR (which you really need to do. I would read the 5 Love Languages. It sounds like, in discussing with you today, that you are very big on Physical Touch and Gift Giving as ways you understand being loved.
My guess is that she receives love in other ways. The book mighjt give you some insight in how to "reach" her.
