Wayward Wife, my addiction, advice needed

[sandi2]

Hi Trumpet, I hope you'll stick with us and post often. You are learning a lot of new information. If you are reading a lot of marriage help books, you may get confused on the advice you receive. DBing is not your typical M-help, b/c the M is close to D. It needs much, much more than just strategic improvements.

A few months ago I began a thread about the wayward wife. The link to the first thread is on the page of Sandi's rules, if you are interested.

Although wayward wives comes from different walks of life, they have three areas that they always seem to have in common. Those are resentment, disrespect, and rebellion. It often starts with resentment and it continues to build for years. The resentment feeds the disrespect, and eventually you see some form of rebellion in her. Sound familiar?

I doubt any secular counseling at this time is going to turn your M around. For one thing, they won't tell her she is living wrong. They will tell her that everything she feels and does is normal. They are working for your money, and not so much to save her from destruction.

If she is in any type of an A, no kind of MC is going to help her b/c she does not care about saving the M. Her head is wrapped around the OM and the thrill the A brings to her.

Just as the pornography is a terrible addiction, so are affairs. When she decides to end it, she will have to go cold turkey. That's the only way it will work. Then she'll have to go through withdrawal, which may take months before she can pull herself together to work on the M.

The good news is that your M can be saved. It's very hard, and it takes a really long time....but it can be done. I hope you will not share your new information with anyone, b/c these are tools just for you to use. If you were going to play a ballgame, would you show the other team your playbook? Well, that's how to think about DBing. Come here to vent, question, and learn.

Tell me about that basement of yours.