in house S (4)

[vise82]

Hey thanks for the positive replies,

Some shifting thoughts yesterday.

Got my hair cut and decided to tell the girl that cuts my hair that I was now S, She work out of her home now and she just spent three hours with my W coloring her hair for the wedding W went to.

Well she tells me that W never told her anything about the S. I was floored. Three hours and didn't say anything?

So I told her some of the story and she was in disbelief, she thought W was nuts wanting to leave me, how W was treating me was incredibly disrespectful and that I should of stood up her sooner. She was telling me what a great catch I was and I and so great with the kids.

She is what I thought out of my league, I thought she was nice to me because she cut my hair but there is more there, she is interested. She has some money issues and is struggling with a couple of kids and seems to be what the NMMNG says I would be attracted to and to be aware of it. But I was honest as stopped hiding my flaws like the NMMNG says to d, I told her how I was working on saving the MR and that this is what my W wants so she can do the work. As I said some things I could see her heart breaking a little. I felt bad but for that as I do have a connection with her. But It felt good to let it out in the open. Saying what I want right now instead of hiding it and to make me look flawless.

Then I get home and find out that my W is talking about the wedding and that she is interested in the best man but she thinks that he wants a slim girl. W best friend is trying to convince her that she should go for him anyway. W says that she should have went home with him and just got it over with when they were both drunk. That she is so out of practice being assertive to men. that she needs a guy like that spontaneous , outgoing, funny and crazy, not someone she needs to babysit.
She told her friend to tell him to send some shirtless photos, and that the girls at the wedding were pushing her to go home with him.

W comes home and I act like I know nothing I ask if she wants me to get her a ticket for my works children's Christmas party, she says she dosent know, then I ask again, and she says that I could just take them, I said to her that I could get her a ticket if she wants.

Then she said that she is taking the boys on Sat to see her brothers new place.

This turned in to me asking why I am not asked to go, who doesn't want me there? di , is it your brother? she didn't answer
She just said that I get to spend time with them on sunday, I have GAL activities on sunday. Then I just asked that going forward she needs to ask me about it.

Ok so now I am thinking about Christmas.

SHe doesn't ask me to go to things anymore and I think in the past she said she wanted me to go to things because she thought it would be easier on me. Now that I have said I am not going to some things I think this is what she wants, as she said yesterday that is how it will be later on anyway.

I am not getting results that I want and I think I need to change what I am doing.

I think I need to ask for a second chance. that If she wants to split on Christmas gifts that she needs to give me a second chance. I think now is the time to ask.

I have pushed her so hard that she is further away. I think when she was crying and saying that I wasn't treating her like the mother of my children that is when I should have asked. I should have comforted her. I just acted indifferent.