1. When W says she wants to work on the MR . And maybe another after 1. Is achieved 2. When W says she would like Us/her to see an IC/MC
So.........your achiement depends upon your W doing particular actions? When your W says she wants to work on the MR............what percise actions were you doing in working to this end (when she says she wants to work on the MR)? That's what we are trying to get you to see.
When she says she wants to work on the MR, tells you what you are hoping to hear.......but what did you do to get there?
You see, when you say, " When my W says........." or "When my W does......", it puts the action in her court....not yours. A goal is something you work to reach a particular achievement. I think you may be saying that you know you have achieved your goal when your W says she wants to work on the MR. My question is what are you doing to achieve it?
We encourage people to make goals about themselves b/c you can set goals on another person's action. Why? B/c you have no control over the other person. You have control over yourself, so the goals must be about your personal action. See what I mean?
In other words, someone could set on their backside and not do one thing, yet they say their goal is for the W to do this or that. Actually, that person has made goals for his wife, not himself.
How can you make a goal based on another person where you have no control in their decision or action? It is giving the W all the power over whether or not that person's goal was accomplished.
Your goals should be in your control to achieve the outcome. Just make it simple about what you want to achieve and how you will do it.
I can say "when my H compliments me on my weight loss". But that statement is not telling you what my goal is. You can guess. It doesn't tell you what I am doing to lose weight, does it? Or, maybe I'm not trying to lose weight. Maybe I am wanting to hear him give a compliment. See how confusing it sounds to the reader?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
