Well the guts of it, I believe it was approx. about this time last year she started an EA with some guy online she met through a game she was playing. March of this year she drove down to North Carolina to run a marathon which she did, but she also had an affair with this guy. She ended it shortly after this in early April, she says because she was ashamed of herself, and what she did to me/us. September I had to take my daughter (hers actually) to court cause of some stupid issue, not our fault. So I had pictures on W ipad, as I was clearing off the pictures I found a screenshot of a conversation with this guy where he stated the following facts: he said her name, they spent 2 days together, she's still his fantasy, and he wasn't trying to reconcile which I believe he was.
I sent it to her and said WTF, I hope it was worth it. She told me it was her friend with the same name that is a known cheater and cookoo. So I went along with it , but it didn't sit with me. 2 thursdays ago I was on the ipad looking at guitar scales, when I saw pop ups from people chatting and it had sexual innuendo. I talked to her about it last friday, I also remembered her friend with the same name was pregnant at that time, it didn't fit. She tried to talk me off the ledge, no it's all in your head... she didn't do anything when she was in NC. (funny I feel like a total POS, she called me hours after her race and said I think I'm going to stay and extra day and I said ok LOL fool). So last weekend I was pissed, I knew she wouldn't admit it. She did everything right though to make me feel better, she made love to me 4 times, she was an awesome wife to me for the first time in 10 years. Last monday after working out I went home and went through the ipad more, and found these GD screenshots and more that I wasn't even paying attention too what was in them. All the chatting going on. I found another message from this that was a broadcast to their whole team and again. I sent them to her about 1140pm last monday night, and thats when my whole world came to crushing blow.
I'm 46, she's 42. from everything i've read (I've seen and individual counselor last friday and we saw a couple counselor saturday) she's done the right thing. she's been open, answered all questions. She told me he started it. FOund out he's from NC, so she went to him. She said she ended it after she returned because she says was ashamed of what she did. "She didn't mean for this to happen".
So I will also say this, my wife are 2 completely different people. I'm Italian so I'm a very emotional loving caring openly type person, I'm selfless to a fault. She's the polar opposite, she's ice not sure when all this happened. even now I'm lucky to get an "i love you" 1x a day. I read that she should be "appologizing up and down" which she hasn't. I love my wife way too much, even now after reading the 37 steps I give her her space. But I gave her space and this happened? So I want to make it work we have a ready made family, I'm divorced one time (she did the exact same thing btw) I have 2 from my 1st D22 S19(withme) her D20 we have a S9.
As I type this I'm starting to get messed up again, recounting all of this. I also will say that I have really started to think Do I really want this to work out? She doesn't meet my physical or emotional needs. She hasn't kissed me in 10+ years, but she could do it with this guy. I'm trying to save this marriage with hope we'll be better, but I don't think she'll ever be willing on trying to work on her issues... she has no desire to try to do for me emotionally or physically.
