Wayward Wife, my addiction, advice needed

[trumpet]

Hello all,

I'm a 2 week lurker, and now first time poster.
Me: 39
Wife: 39
D:14
S:12
D:7
Married 15 years.

What blew the marriage into pieces: PA 3 years ago, glossed over, then EA started 3 months ago, I found out via sloppy laptop left on - messaging on FaceBook.
What blew the marriage into pieces #2: my pornography addiction.

Bomb Dropped on 10/30/2015.

We're conservative Christians that regularly attend church. I attended a lutheran high school as well. Met in college doing music together.

I've announced my addiction, and am in counseling. No porn anymore for mr. trumpet. Mrs. trumpet has always had big problems with it, and I think ultimately led to a sexless, loveless marriage, where fights were very common.

After the BD, she was unwilling to leave (OM is in another big city 2+ hours away, have met up once, but didn't have sex). We are sharing Master bedroom. She has mentioned that she has no more love for me, and that divorce was the only way to ease her pain, that she's tired of 15 years of crap. The last 2 years I was super-focused to get out of debt, and was heavy-handed at times. We are out of debt except for the mortgage. We did try MC, but it was before the BD. She was apathetic towards it, which makes complete sense now.

Also - wife has Grave's Disease - and had thyroidectomy in June, about when OM, who's going thru a divorce himself, messaged her.. past flame. So, chemical make-up, and now fake thyroid hormones, could play a role in my wife's mental makeup. Also, with a full-time job promotion (more hours, more responsibility), kids activities, my 50+ hour a week job, and her chronic low self-esteem and weight gain put her in vulnerable position.

I have read many of Sandi's posts, as well as Cadet's, and would love to get advice from all of you. What I have done so far:
GAL in motion
Started working out 2+ weeks ago, lost 20lbs already
Making sure I'm dressed better when at home, wearing cologne again.
read books - plan on reading DB/DR book soon
Stay away from wife for most part - using basement, she's upstairs
focused more on the kids - up at 5AM to workout and make lunches for them, hugs/kisses every day
Focused on not escalating any arguments, and not in front of kids, like we used to do.
No texts or phone calls to W, except concerning kid stuff.
Counseling with our pastor, as well as a session with christian MC, and now with Christian counselor for my addiction... this counselor will be weekly.

The addiction makes the situation so, so much more messy.
Since I made major mistakes to put my wife in a position to be so unhappy in the marriage. Her decision to have the PA and EA (with separate people, mind you) are hers alone.

I never felt so alone and so emotionally vexed in the last two weeks. My searches online have come up with 'when he cheats/when she cheats', but in my case, since pornography can be considered a form of cheating on your spouse, what do I do? Thanks for any/all help. I'll be listening for sure.

-trumpet