Still riding the waves

[mleigh4]

Hi Lou, you are so right and thank you for pointing that out to me. This is not so much what I want to do, but it's what I need to do. I am letting go of what I should do or not do for my marriage, I am basing my choices more on what works better for me. Spending time with H having fun, laughing, enjoying each other's company leaves me feeling....used, confused, frustrated, angry and sad. His niceness leaves me analyzing if it is because he cares, or if it's out of guilt and pity. With no reconciliation on the table, the less time I spend with him the better.

Bright---you are right. I am looking for a reaction and yes I get really annoyed when I don't get one! Lol. And yes, I am letting him know that his cake eating is not ok. You know me well! As you know, we have to try different avenues and different things to see what works and what doesn't. I have slowly been getting to this point and I really do know that I will be fine either way....cutting tie after tie feels right to me even though it is also painful. I am going to try this out for Thanksgiving, see how it goes, not just to see what H says about it, but to see how I handle it. An experiment of sorts....

Thank you both for your posts, I value your thoughts