I'll post a quick weekend-update, similar to whats on the other thread.
I should be overjoyed, but it's almost over shadowed by shock and fear. yesterday we went to in-laws, cut wood all day, we all worked together on that, and I swear H split wood like a mad man....swung the ax for hours. then FIL, H & 2 BIL's took S & nephews for target practice, I went with the "guys" and we had a good time....something I havent done for 15 or 20 years. H actually initiated ML again, I was shocked after he cut wood all day that he wouldn't be too tired, but happy about it. This morning we went to church together (something else we've only done a few times in the last 3 or 4 mos.after not doing it for years) and H says he is staying home today, not going to do PaperWork! Oh, my heart is so scared! but it's so nice....he's making plans to have a movie and fire in the fireplace tonight.
I get the feeling he's trying very hard to keep himself busy...and somehow he kind of reminds me of some one who's trying to give up smoking. S even commented that he's distant. I have to say though that he's been considerate and concerned and seemingly sincere w/me.
I just am so afraid my heart will get broken again....and kind of overwhelmed at all that still lies ahead.to really But the day he puts his wedding ring back on will be one of the happiest in my life...I just pray we get there..
I am going to need lots of ideas for ways to "spice things up", the Keeping Love Alive and sexual issues I guess. I have a feeling that H is starting to get on board, even if it's small still, and I believe that will help. Hope and pray my interpretation is accurate on that!
