Still riding the waves

[BrightFuture]

mleigh4, I wonder if you are truly ready to cut the ties off. It looks like you are in very delicate position. I wonder if the main motivation for you is to show H that you can be independent and that you don’t like this situation anymore. I’m not saying that you are doing it just for this purpose. You might genuinely believe that you are doing it for you. But you still expecting the reaction from H. I can see that from where you are it does look like your stich is going nowhere. What I see is that your H is still around and still shows some kind of interest in doing things for you and with you.

I have seen you being upset about things when you expected H to react in a certain way and he didn’t, making you think that he doesn’t care. I know the feelings… When they show some interest, but not enough, we pull away, thinking that this is not going to do it for us. When they pull away, we start thinking that we pushed too far.

This might be what you need to do in order to move in your stich, and I absolutely support you. You are doing great. I have no doubt that you will be fine either way, with H or without. I’m like you, constantly wondering how to keep the door open, but keep moving forward with my life. I hope what I said makes sense. I’m not in a position to give an advice, I just tried to express my opinion and what I see from the outsider point of view.