Pho you have a lot to handle and you are doing great.Release some of the pressure you are under and you will realize you are not breaking. I willnot belittle your problems but I think you can get through this without breaking down.
Focus on the good stuff. What are you grateful for? What do you appreciate in your life? There is a lot more than we think. Focus on what you have and nit what is missing.It helps.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together