Well went to the wedding friday and over the weekend. Was great to see so many old friends and enjoy myself. It was a bit of a mix. I had a great time, but I also knew a lot of people know my situation and some beat around the bush asking questions and others just asked me straight out. It was difficult to talk about but i did. There were wives there talking to me about everything and it is so funny to see how different they treat me now. I actually start hearing their thoughts about me and how they thinnk W is insane for this. Made me feel good to know that women see me as attractive and a great person. I wouold share some of the things i learned about myself and M in general with whoever i spoke to.
I must say that i did get plenty of attention while i was there from the females, and while it made me feel good I really would have loved to have W there to share the time with. The hard parts were listening to the preacher then all of the speeches, they just touched on aspects of marriage and how it is a forever thing. I just wished W could hear this kind of stuff.
I actually had to give a toast at the rehearsal dinner and was a bit odd since i would typically mention aspects of being married or would mention W in the toast, but this time I had to go a different route.
Was really excited to get back and see the kids. W dropped them off and she stood out side the front door the entire time. I think this has something to do with the fact that apparently she tried to bring the kids by my house Saturday to get ipads and realized her keys no longer work and her garage door opener does not work either. She didnt mention anything but D7 did while she was there. I brushed it off. Apparently S4 has been asking a lot if W will move back home and telling her he wants to. She answers him with a no. That kind of hurts to hear but i am putting not a lot of thought into it.
ANother interesting event was that W and kids had dinner with my mother Saturday evening. S4 has been bugging granny to take him to get something she has promised him so she tried to make plans to meet up and then they decided to eat together.
Now my mother has been having a hard time with everything and is definitely more angry than myself about the situation but she did great and did not mention anything about what is going on. I do need her to be able to do this as she needs to be involved in the kids lives and no matter what happens be able to not get upset with W.
So this week i need to sort out Thanksgiving. I am not sure what W is thinking yet but we will see.
For myself, I need to get busy with my lists of things i want to do around the house and things for myself, but i have found myself very busy with just the day to day that i have not yet.
I havent been sleeping as well lately either. Not sure why, but I am not thinking on everything just cant sleep.
Not sure i am any further with the detachment. I think i am still trying to fake it. I havent had any real contact with W other than kids exchange logistics. She always seems to put a little info about what she is doing or something but i try to not engage at all. I wish she would not do this at all because it leads me to thinking too much.
So i will keep on for now. I do feel at times I wish she would just leave the kids with me and go away. I think it would be a lot easier, LOL.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
