For the past few days I've been somewhat numb to my emotions. The last bit of news by my wife was very hurtful, selfish, and in some ways malicious. My wife states that is karma for all the things I've done to her, I don't agree with that, as she has been the one orchestrating the whole thing and has ensure the direction of it. Not to mention, that these are her actions. I am now processing my emotions.
During the last few months, I have helped (being a hero) my wife, with some financials, she has taken advantage of my generosity as well. I began tallying how much financial assistance I have provided her with, and will eventually with her the sum, as she says she wants to know how much she "owes" me. I am also thinking about the marital home (she resides there). She wants to stay in the Condo till our oldest is 11, about 5 years. I told her I can't agree to that. I am now finding myself concerned, about her bringing OM if he does come out to live and work (at our company) here, will she be having him over or inviting him, the possibility of bumping into him at work, and the gym, etc. I don't feel ok with that. Her and I both worked very hard for our home, we renovated it together, this was our home; but I know she is capable, and she has said that maybe she'll have him visiting for the day (smh). I need to speak to an L, and begin taking actions, I expressed to her that we need to get a legal separation done and go see a mediator, she agrees but never makes moves. Friends tell me I should go to the family courts and place myself on Child Support and visitation, I have avoided this, as I am hoping we can resolve all of this in mediation.
I haven't taken any steps yet, giving myself some time to truly think through all of this and process my emotions. I am really hurt by her recent actions, especially since I have been working on being more friendly and respectful of her decision. It seems she is bent on making me pay for my past transgression, while I am working on forgiving both her and I for our checkered past.
God Bless.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
