Still riding the waves

[mleigh4]

This morning when I was walking with my girlfriend, we talked about the text exchange about the holidays and gifts....she did not understand. She said she would take that as me pushing him away....

I told her that I too worry that this is the message I am conveying when as we all know I don't want all this, but then I explained to her, H fired me as his wife over 2 years ago and left me 9 months ago. He has cut me out of his life, does not initiate time together other than for special occasions and has not said one thing or given me a single sign that he wants to work on our marriage. Why would I want to spend my holidays with him let alone buy him gifts?

She thought for a moment, shook her head and said I was absolutely right....she said she could understand why I feel this way...

It's really hard to make boundaries while still trying to keep that door open!