Still riding the waves

[mleigh4]

Hi Ciluzen,

Thank you for the kind words. It has taken me a long time to figure out what works for me and what doesn't. You have to do a lot of trial and error!

As for letting your H do things around the house.....one thing I have learned is that there is no right or wrong. You need to do whatever works for you. I have seen many posters on here allow their spouse to continue taking care of their home. It actually used to comfort me, it held some kind of hope for me, that he still cared about home....but so many things have changed for me that I no longer feel that way. If it leaves you feeling the emotional downer, why don't you try either fixing something yourself or having someone do it? See how you feel....and see how H reacts. Remember, it's all trial and error, like a test. As Caliguy would say, like a science experiment!

Weekend update...

Took S to drop off with H Saturday. It was 2:00 in afternoon and H clearly hadn't showered, had crusties in his eyes, and he was drinking coffee. Rough night!? He talked and talked about his work, how stressful it has been....I did a good job of just listening. I went home and MADE myself rest, planned a quiet night with myself to watch movies. I got a text from "sleepover" friend inviting me to eat with him, and attitude for ignoring his text from the night before. I bluntly asked him to please stop with the texts, that my S sees them, that it looks bad and that I just don't want anymore misunderstanding. He replied with a verbal attack, F word and all, the exact reason I don't want him texting me.

My MIL called to discuss her Grammy day. My son asked for my help to make this work so he can keep his Grammy day, so I asked her what I can do to help to remind her to contact me and aftercare on this day. She got a little annoyed with that, but promised me that she really has been trying and will continue to.

My mom also called and I hung up on her after 2 put down comments to me....so my quiet restful Saturday night had some hiccups, but you know what? I laughed it off, watched a good movie and slept like a baby.

This morning I woke up and went on a long walk with my girlfriend in the rain. We both loved it! Followed by breakfast and mimosas!

H brought S home this afternoon. I noticed a possible leaking pipe in the front of the house and asked him if that ever leaked before. He knew right away and said he had fixed it but it must be leaking again, that he would look at it. I told him I have a handyman coming out this week to clean the gutters and that I could have him look at it, but H said no, it's an easy fix not worth paying for, to let him fix it. I insisted that no, I was just asking for the history of it and that it's time I know this stuff to take care of it on my own. He again said he will fix it....Knowing stubborn me, I will have handyman look at if H doesn't get to it first....

HAWHO!! Guess what! H FINALLY asked me if I needed anything from Costco! Ahhh the sweet long awaited response of, "Oh! I got my own membership! But thank you (big smile)" His eyes popped open and he said to S, WOW. Mommy got her own membership!?? He got speechless for a few minutes...yep...Mommy means business...lol

So no further mention of the holidays. H is a last minute planner so not surprised there. I hope you all had a nice weekend.