Still riding the waves

[ciluzen]

MLeigh,

You are so strong. I like how you are able to get into a healthy mindset about your R...what works and what doesn't for you.

Because I refused to leave from our family home when my H said we should be "done", I'm in a family home in the country by myself that in no way could I afford on my salary (I would struggle in a studio apartment on my salary). So my H pays for it (guilt about leaving? Sense of responsibility?)and feels the need to come caretake. You hit the nail on the head, though when you brought up how H being the nice guy and helping out leaves you in an emotionally bad place each time.

It is encouraging to read your story and how you took taking care of the gutters into your own hands by hiring someone. I would like to do the same for some of the jobs that I cannot do here on my own, but since H is a do-it-yourselfer and is paying the bills, I fear that it might cause some anger. Do you think maybe that is important, though? He has been cool and calm even when I'm emotional (still trying to get a handle on that).I almost feel its worth it to help me detach not to have to have him help out or have me see him so much. I get sick to my stomach with thinking about him and replaying thoughts after each time I see him.