Wow, mind is blown 10

[Uphill]

Well, that wasn't what I was looking for but it all happened in a calm fashion. I kinda expected this to happen but was hoping for the best. She is already to "into" the new guy and doesn't want to let him down. Haha I don't know how that happens in a matter of about 2 months but it is what it is. I responded to that calmly that you are so worried about him that you are not worried at all about the years and years we have been together or letting me down? Our family? Our home? This clown is that special that you will throw all that away for a player?

During the convo she did rewrite history a bit. I didn't hold back there. I didn't yell, but in a calm way called her out on every false accusation she tried to make against me or anybody else. Held her accountable for her part in all of this. She was trying to push all the blame on me and I just wasn't going to take it after hearing her answer. I let her know that after S4 was born she started drifting. She tried to spin that on me. I explained to her that I understand I did. Now I do. But it was all due to how I was being treated. I distanced myself in my own home because I didn't feel welcome. I felt second best. Which I am not saying is wrong, S4 deserved her attention! But I also needed some.

Overall it was a long overdue conversation. It gives me direction in life. I can stand here with broad shoulders and say I tried everything I physically could handle. I didn't give up. I stood tall and was willing. She wasn't.

[Uphill]

I don't know if it the shock of what happened today or if it just isn't having that much of a negative effect on me? I feel pretty good about myself. My mind is racing, trying to process all of the hours long conversation we had today but in reality none of that really matters because she had her mind made up before she came. Nothing I could have said or done today would have made a difference.

[Fogg]

Sorry it went the way it did uphill. Take some time to process it all and figure out what you want to do. Hope you can have some fun tomorrow.

[Azzork]

And also remember to believe none of what she says. Just because she feels some way today doesn't mean she will feel the same next week.

[Uphill]

Thanks guys! I know not to believe anything she says and half of what she does. This to me was a last ditch thing due to OM being confirmed. It would have been tough for me to let that go to begin with. I swore I never would be able to do that and I wanted to try to let that go. Mainly for S4. He deserves his family and that is the hardest part of this for me right now. Now ranking at best 2nd? Tough pill to swallow... I know a lot of people are 2nd best and are ok with that (as ok as I guess can be expected) but I'm not that type of person.

Over the years that we had been together we had a lot of discussions. About life. Kids. Just everything. I knew from day one this was my girl. The one I was meant to be with. In those discussions it came up about many of the things we have now seen in the past 9 months. She said she would never leave. I was stuck with her wether I liked it or not. I would always tell her if she walked out I wouldn't take her back. We wouldn't ever split because she grew up in a split family and didn't want that for S4. She has eyes for nobody but me. And then this all happens.

I now realize it was all nothing but lies. She said them things but didn't mean a damn one of them. I had some lines drawn in the sand and left her cross every one of them. Then I would draw a new one and say that is where it stops. Until it was crossed again. A vicious cycle, which I see now was her testing me. She may not realize it, but ever time I had a limit to how much I would take. How much I would let her get away with. She would almost in a daring way, cross that line.

I feel like I have now dropped the rope. Do your thing b***h. Ruin your own life but do not let it have any affect on my son. And don't come crawling back when you are flat on your face and have nowhere else to turn.

Sorry if I sound harsh but I needed to let that all out...

[Uphill]

I want to add one thing that really cut. I remained calm through this whole discussion with her but while I'm venting I'm gonna get this out also. The topic of OM came up. We actually talked about him for a while. I want to know who our son is going to be around, I don't think that's too much to ask at this point. This guy and her started as "friends" while we were still together. (He had an agenda and she was too naive). I do honestly believe that. When we started having problems and he got very aggressive in a few different ways and I tried to point it out. Almost like a shark circling. He smelled the trouble at home and was waiting to pounce.

Anyway, I made the comment to her that "don't you think you moved on kinda quickly for needing time and space to figure out what you wanted in life?". Her reply was, "he was there for a shoulder to cry on and (shrugs her shoulders) I could have stopped him but I didn't". How do I even reply to that? I must have had a face like I saw a ghost! It came out of her mouth like it was no different than saying hi to the guy.

Shes not the girl I fell in love with. That girl wasn't a vulnerable sex toy. She was a respectable woman who you had to work for...

[Uphill]

Gotta admit, I am struggling right now. I was doing what I thought was very well until I got back home by myself. OM is really getting to me right now. This clown seems to be trying to poke me in the ribs. Not his fault, not my fault. But being in this small town I keep getting sent pictures of stupid Facebook posts with my son in them and his dumb a** commenting and liking them. I wish people would just stop doing this. But I also wish he would not be doing this crap and putting things on there acting like he is taking my place in my sons life. He is being very bold right now, I don't know if it is because of what happened today or what but I could choke him.

[Sotto]

Hi Uphill, I'm sorry to hear about what has happened. As for OM, if it hadn't been 'him' it would just have been someone else. And please don't feel for a moment that he will 'replace' you in your S's life - that truly isn't going to happen.

The big thing I would say is don't approach OM in any way. He is below being worthy of your attention and I would not engage with him at all. He probably has his own issues that mean he gets involved with women who aren't truly available.

As for FB - do take some steps to deal with that one. There is no need for you to be seeing these pics if you don't want to. Looking at FB stuff isn't going to help you just now, so do whatever you need to change this - whether you unfollow someone or similar. I don't really use FB - but I wouldn't do overt (retaliatory) things like unfriending - only behind the scenes ones that limit your exposure to this stuff whilst you're feeling so raw.

Take care my friend xx

[Uphill]

I won't engage him sotto. He isn't worth my time. I had to vent on here because it does have me upset. I am not friends with either one of them on Facebook anymore. Where I am seeing this stuff is people "looking out for me" sending it to me as a text message. I know they mean well but they aren't helping... I have to figure out how to deal with this without being rude to my friends.

[Fogg]

Don't have to be rude to your friends. You just say to them at this point in time your XF and your life is separate and you would prefer not to hear about what she's doing. There's not much you can do about the company she keeps anyway unless it'd causing harm to S4.