Ghost, what would you do if your wife suddenly died? What would change? You would HAVE TO drop the road and move on, wouldn't you? Would you date right away? One would hope not; rather, we would hope you spent some time working through your loss before you even THOUGHT about dating.
I understand you, I really do. I am having D forced on me. I'm letting him go. I have zero desire to be with a man who doesn't even like me at the moment. It makes so much more sense, on many levels, for us to stay together, but H is in full rebellion and the only thing that will help him calm down is a D. So be it.
My detachment isn't completely healthy...there is an element of hatred in there I'll have to address one day. What am I doing? Repairing my broken self. I'm reading a book called Codependent No More that has really woken me up to some serious issues n our relationship. I'm recommending the book to everyone now.
You cannot control, reason, guilt, convince, manipulate, or charm your wife into staying M. She may be a stubborn one, like my H, worried about what her friends would think were she to change her mind. I don't believe in D. He may get a legal D, but I'll still consider us joined. But I won't take him back. Not without one heck of an impassioned, convincing apology.
You're doing so much better, ghost! I suggest googling how to detach for more pointers.
