I gotta check something out with you all before I proceed! as you might recall, I got some baby steps last wk/wkend...H asking me Tues. afternoon to take S to relig.ed classes, being complimentary & thanking for brunch, sitting by me & holding hand during movie, making fire monday nite, sitting w/D, S & me. I was racking my brain trying to think of what I could have done differently to bring this about, couldnt come up with a thing, and then DUH! I think it hit me, I might have come up with it.
I know that OW sends sickeningly mushy emails to H, everyday....last Tuesday morning I sent this to him:
"I'm glad to do the tires for you....it might make your life a little simpler???I hope....I guess it should at least make the car better. I'm sorry for being clingy this morning, and really sorry if I sounded accusatory, that wasn't my intent. I shouldn't be sending this in an email but I guess right now I'm really aware of how very precious you are to me and of what an incredibly ignorant dolt I was for such a long time. I'm not sure that focus brings out the best in me at all - probably more like the worst! I've been thinking this morning about how special the time I get to spend with you is...not just you-know-what-time, but just talking and being around you, even sitting and looking at the paper. It truly is the treasure of my life. I loved getting to walk with you Sunday. I know you've put effort into us being able to do more of that, and it means more to me than I can tell you. Ummmmm, I better quit with this train of thought because it just makes me want to hug and snuggle you...and other things....and I get distracted. I'll figure up hours I'll have for vacation and try to get in for the same days....I think it should work out ok. It seems like a long ways off, but I'm sure looking forward to it."
When I wrote this, I was really aware of trying to avoid her flowery, come-on, you're my whole world kind of stuff, and I was afraid this was too mushy. How ever, as I reflect, H has said, and I believe he's sincere, that he didn't feel valued by me.... This Email is THE ONLY thing I did different last week....and there was some progress....
o, I'm thinking maybe I need to try to send something similar or maybe a note 1 or 2 X a week? what do you all think? Good DBing? Bad DBing? try it and see what happens? don't dare go there???????
