Thanks, Mozza, for the words of encouragement. I saw the film Gandhi. He was very inspirational. It's funny you should mention him. I was telling my children about Nelson Madela today - another very courageous individual.
I cried a lot yesterday (in my office with the door shut before I came home), but in between the crying, I felt pretty strong and actually got some work done. Still, it was a real shock to the system. I went into this meeting expecting to negotiate. Instead I received a hard kick in the arse. It seems my W feels she is entitled to the whole kit and kaboodle and is making a bid for it. Her filing for D is just more evidence that she is driving this runaway train. I am sure my children will realize in due time that as some point she came unhinged and I cannot be held responsible for this train wreck (beyond my contribution to the breakdown of the M). I have a lot of anger still, but I've been told that once we are no longer under the same roof I will feel sorry for her.
That said, I had a GREAT dinner with my children last night. I did not waver for a second in front of my W. Today was also a great time. I am trying to be in the moment - trying not to focus on the future or the past. It is a real challenge, but I was partially successful. Sundays are hard, though. There is just not enough to do on Sundays to keep me distracted.
When the pressure goes up, I think I turn inwards, I lose focus and can only think of myself and my survival. I apologize to all my fellow DBers. I know you all have struggles. I wish I had the time and the energy to turn outwards and offer support and friendship to all of you. I think that would be much more therapeutic than wallowing in my sitch. Maybe that should be one of my goals.
