[BrightFuture]

Interesting thing… As I started thinking about ending the whole limbo again, H is finding things to contact me about. These are all just business, and might be just coincidence and convenience for him. The other day he texted me that he used one of our joint cards at Costco (he hasn’t used it for a long time) and he transferred money to my account to cover for that. I replied “No problem, thanks for letting me know”.

Then he wanted to know how much his portion is for AAA membership (I left a new card for him at the condo and was not going to ask him for money.) I replied that I got it covered but if he would like to pay, I texted him the number.

Then he texted me asking if I was done with the company file and if I could send it back to him, as he needs to do something in QB. I did send him the file last night.

So, I realize that this all business, just happened all at the same time. The only caveat is that the things are still intertwined between us (common accounts, join memberships, business…) and H is not doing anything about it. I would think that it would be a lot easier for him to change all that (except maybe for business, it would be too complicated), so he could truly move on to the next phase of his life, like he wanted to. Just saying. I don’t feel any energy to separate things either, as long as it doesn’t bother me.

A couple of “news” after my trip to the vacation home. I think I was right when I had a feeling that H was trying to reconnect with my son. My mutual friend (male) told me that when my son was there and after he left, there was a lot of talk about “H’s son is/was here”. Apparently it was a big deal. H is normally not a show off person. My mutual friend said that H told him how proud he is about my son (also H’s son, apparently), and how amazed and pleased he is about my son turning into a remarkable adult. My mutual friend also gave me a lot compliments about my son and how he was surprised that he and his GF came to the office to say hello when they arrived and then stopped by to say goodbye before they left, when they really didn’t have to. I agree, this is something I didn’t expect from my son before, especially when he was a teenager. I know that my son has changed a lot during the last few years. He became a great person I was always trying to raise him to be, and in some ways he even exceeded my expectations. I think this is kind of news to H, since there was not much contact in last few years.

I think that H is missing the family. I also think that H is realizing how great his family was.

We had a long conversation with my mutual friend about other things too. He told me once again about how much I changed and what a great person I am, and what a great catch I am.., and he still cannot understand why H left. I replied that H left because he was unhappy, and hopefully now he got what he wanted and he is happy. To which my friend said that he doesn’t think that H is happy at all. I leave it at that.

I’ve been sick all week, after I came back from the vacation home. Today was the worst. I spend all day in bed. I think all the stress and maybe some anticipation of the holidays made a toll on me. Maybe because of that, I feel like I just don’t have anything left to give to this sitch. I feel indifferent.