thanks Betsey for the hug and the support, actually brought tears to my eyes. I don't feel that our children's challenges are an excuse for the sitch we find ourselves in now, and I don't think my H would say that either. I do firmly believe, with the advantage of 20/20 hindsight, that we allowed those challenges to divert our focus from putting our relationship as high on the priority list as it should have been. That disorder of priorities contributed to our growing apart emotionally. I think mndad's post from "friend who is a marriage counselor/psychologist" described it well as a "circle in the sand" (boundaries)... My H did say once in one of our heated R discussions "you've been a great mom to the kids, no complaints there", which I found touching and gratifying but also kind of reinforced that I should have been looking a little higher/further. Anyway, doing a decent job of being a parent is really tough, and my hats off to everybody who goes at it with "gusto", especially those who have children with extra challenges. so, ((((((((hugs)))))))right back to you my friend! Deb
