That brought me to tears. I know I have come a long way and have still quite a ways to go. We are all evolving and learning. I still struggle to not take on burdens. I have somewhat isolated myself so I would not, could not take on any burdens that were not my own.
I see uncertainty ahead of me. I waiver, but have jerry rigged my life so that there is no going back to the old and familiar. Life will never be the same as it was, nor should it be. I see yoga classes and Aqua fitness and taking college courses and art classes. Maybe I'll buy a clarinet and start playing again. In the distant future I see myself running my own business doing holistic animal care. I am not the same person my husband fell in love with, the self sacrificing martyr that takes care of everyone else. The stable, financially secure, mapped out my life until retirement kind of person. I have learned to let go....sometimes I really don't know what will come. None of us do. It's ok. I'm heading in a direction I want to, but if something changes, then oh well. I'm fortunate that for the most part all I really have to worry about is me. As long as I have a roof over my head, food in my stomach and love in my life (my kids, my animals, my brothers and mother and yes I hope my H) I'll be ok.
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
