Morhping into a Red Hot Mama!

[Underdog]

Deb,

I didn't mean to ignore your observation yesterday--the one where having a child with medical challenges was a big factor with your M.

I've been thinking about that on and off for a really long time now. Mr. Wonderful and I have had so much support during this separation. Wonderfully meaning people who tell us that they admire how well we've managed over the past 7 years despite the pitfalls.

Funny, though. As hard as they have been, neither of us believe it was an excuse for how things ended up. One friend grabbed him by the hand and dragged him over to me at a golf course last summer and yelled, "Betsey and Mr. W! Don't you both get it? Marriage means turning TOWARD each other, not ON each other!"

He and I stared at each other in disbelief. Oddly enough, the crises were what usually brought us back to some grounded place. However, I later digested what this friend was saying. After the event had passed, we had resumed our position as foes.

I wouldn't wish a sick child on my worst enemy (though I don't think I have any?). It's tough to make good decisions when one or both parents are literally and figuratively exhausted. Having a near death experience with my D7 frightened both of us. And we actually lived through it!

Please lean over so I can hug you too. It's a really rough road to travel, and the fact that you recognize it for what it is says a whole lot. I suspect your H is grateful for you and what you did during those times. Mine is. Every time I think he actually meant those venomous leaving/fighting words, I go back to read e-mails from him to me thanking me for being such a great mom.

I choose to believe the words were spoken honestly and with love.

Here's one to another special mom.

(((((Deb)))))

Betsey