Also, V, I agree that people should set their own goals but as the mother of these kids I am setting some goals for family harmony. Such as greeting each other appropriately and being able to be in the same room as each other without screaming for short periods of time. I will leave it up to them to set their own goals of how they are going to cope with my "rules" and their own stress levels. But something has to change, especially with H going away, I cannot leave S and D alone together and this is crazy.
Up until June I could leave them together for a couple of hours at a time, or have a simple family outing. From June until about September I couldn't leave them together at all, without them screaming, S slamming his hands into the walls, etc. Now finally I can leave them again for an hour or two but only on good days. We have made some progress, but we have a long way to go.
