have i been making mistakes too long part 7

[sandi2]

Okay, but are you calling it "separation"?

[tkdmme]

Yes

[tkdmme]

I need advise.

Two weeks ago I was out playing piano and I met this girl. We hit it off and had a great conversation. I ended up giving my phone number. We had been talking alot on the phone and I explained my situation. I told her that we could be friends and hangout but that I was still married and didn't want any type of romantic relationship at this point. She agreed totally.

We went out last night to see a band in town and had a great time. Afterwards we kissed. I know how awful this must sound and I know it was a mistake. I really like this girl but I'm in no way in a place to where that is ok. I feel soooo guilty!!. I can't believe I did that. Do I break all contact with this girl? Do I tell the w? (not that she would even care).

I don't know what to do. I have really enjoyed talking to this new friend but I don't know if I can continue any relationship with her.

WHAT DO I DO?

[Uphill]

I'm not real sure about this tkd, I think I would just keep to myself about it for now? I mean if you told W, she would know that any time something were to happen you will run to her. Gives her an insurance policy... Just my opinion, an it WOULD be a bridge to cross down the road at some time.

[tkdmme]

Thank Uphill,

I'm just saying conflicted. I don't if I like this girl because there is a real attraction or If I like her because I've been soooo lonely for the past year.

I'm not sure if it's ok to continue to to talk and hang out with her or not. I am having a good time getting to know her but it just doesn't feel right.


This stuff is so hard. I'm sick of being sad and lonely. I'm sick of crying. It's like I'm feeling guilty for having a good time.

I just want it to be over. It's been going on now for so long. What makes it worse is that we are still in the same house. I don't want to be there when she is there.

[Vanilla]

If there is any glimmer in your M, drop this potential EA.

There are a number of reasons

1. What kind of woman wants to be an OW? Usually scuzzies. Do you really want a scuzzy near your kids or drama?

2. EAs get in the way of concentrating on you.

3. In your current confused state what chance would a real new R have?

4. Pots, kettles and black

5. You made a vow and the fat lady hasn't sung yet

6. Goodbye role model dad, hello dad was as bad as mum in the end


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In my view you finish M get D then go get a really lovely gf when you are healed.

Or Go wayward with a possible scuzzy.

Sad and lonely, not enough good honest basic GAL then. Putility this behind you, erase and STFU. Your guilt, your sitch, your scuzzy.

Just my 2c.

V

[tkdmme]

There is no glimmer of hope at all. We are planning to put the house for sell and start the d in February. I have stopped trying to save the m. Unfortunately I feel like I've checked out too.

[Azzork]

A better cure for "being sad and lonely" is to figure out how to find happiness within you.

[Vanilla]

A better cure for "being sad and lonely" is to figure out how to find happiness within you.

Agreed but GAL is an immediate action and can be done today. In any case an A won't fill the gap.

February is a long way away, deal with today.

V

[AU Bob]

If you give up now, will you always look back. I too struggle with weather or not to just cut my losses and look for some one else. But when I really think about it I realise now is not the time, I am not really over her, how could I truthfully give another woman the love she deserves.
At the stage I am at, I think its better to devote myself to GAL and my children and friends. If WW ever decides to or wakes from her fog, I can have peace in myself for being strong and have no guilt. My children will respect me, and that means a lot to me.