Newcomer Looking For Advice

[Strngr!]

I do realize doing thing with wife doesnt count as GAL just was explaining what my weekend plans looks like

And

I guess i could probably take him out to special places he would like. Hes pretty young hard to imagin what an 18 month old would view as a perfect father.

[Strngr!]

I have a question what is the differance between DB book and DR book. I purchased DR book because I beleive it was the one recommened. However i look on amazon and DB book has a better rating. Did i buy the right one?

[Ancaire]

You have the right book. DR is the updated version of DB. Get busy reading...lol

[Strngr!]

Unfotunatly i dont have the book yet had to order it in at the book store so now im busy trying to be best man/dad i can be. Making pancakes for the little man s1 this morning. While W stays in bed. Probably texting OM.

[Ancaire]

I was so happy for you...until I read the last sentence. It might or might not be true...where does your focus need to be?

You've got this. The book will be there soon.

[Strngr!]

Haha i know its gota be here on me struggling a bit with that ive always put so much focus on trying to make her happy.

On another not W is outa bed now and she was staring at me i said whats up? Then she said nothing a bit later she said im not doing much cominicating with ger and said she though we were at a stand still. I ask what she meant she said we havent been taking as much. Im still learing here so i wasnt sure what to say so i said i was trying to give here some space and to keep my mind off the A. She asked if i was happy and said it needs to be a 2way steet us both being happy. I said i guess so. I probably screwed up royaly here i dont know what to say anymore when she askes about my feelings or our R im torn what to say just wana tell the truth but i feel like advice from here is causing me to do otherwise

[Strngr!]

Had another convo with my W about our relationship. We were driving and it started of with her saying im thinking something but i dont want to bring it up right now. I just said she can up what ever she wants whenever she wants. Then she said she was thinking more about wanting some time apart. But shes worries about how we would be able to do it without anyone knowinh were having issues. I said i could see her concern with people finding out were having issues. Se was suggesting something like alternating evenings with S1 and at our home. I told here i was trying to give her space. We talked a bit more ad i dont remember how it came up but she said something like is it feeling different then you expected after starting to give me some space. I just told her i donk know how i feel. Convo kinda stoped there then next thing you know shes crying. I asked her why she said she is sad and scared. I asked about what and she said about us i told her i know how she feels because i have bren having the same feelings. Then we moved on and started talking about something else. I dont know what to say or think have i screwed up. Am i charging ahead to fast without reading the DR book?

[Azzork]

In general, it sounds like you're saying too much. Let the conversation be led by her.

Don't ask so many questions - the things she says aren't terribly meaningful anyway.

[Strngr!]

About 1/4 way into NO MORE MR.NICE GUY. Sounds like thats me... probably my dad to haha. Gona keep reading while i wait for my DR book to come in. I guess my wife had a point she has always said im too nice.

[mvgfwd2]

Have you worked out your boundaries? And what actions you will take if they are violated? NC with the OM I would hope would be a must. Continuing to work together is going to be a problem for the EA/PA to stop.