this is an update from the weekend, of stuff that happened. I would love any input anybody has to share! positives, negatives, things I could/should do differently....
from another post, I have an image of an angel sitting on one shoulder telling me I should see baby steps happened this weekend: --Sat. -- H "chatted" all the way home from hometown (1.5 hours) in evening....used to be mostly quiet --Sun. --H thanked me for making pancakes and omelets for brunch at his request...said they were perfect and great (seldom comments or expresses appreciation) --Came home from "paper work" (ow, I believe), seemed upset because he didn't think kids and I were home (we were actually in living room, just being very quiet). He went looking through house for us. --I was really chilled for some reason, covered up in blankets, H said "let me get this fire going for you right now" and started the fireplace immediately...as soon as he had come into living room. He told me to stay there by the fire and he would go out & feed animals (he's usually so set on doing things a certain way according to his routine that he won't deviate "come hell or high water" --I told him I had missed him while he was gone and he hugged me and said "well I'm home now" --H commented that it was nice to have future son in law there again....usually he's withdrawn, uninvolved, almost cold... --H sat beside me on sofa when we watched a movie...this is a first, and there were other seats available. He got up several times to stir the fire, get a drink, etc., and came back to sofa each time...could have used those times to move to his usual chair --I wanted to be friendly but "nonchalant", so didn't put my arm around him or anything. I did rest my hand on his thigh partway through and he left it there...he's been known to move or move my hand. --H actually kind of held my hand during the movie...entertwined his fingers in mine and left them there...actually, that is handholding for him...he didnt even do that much eons ago when we were dating. --I got an email from H at lunch time today asking how my day was going, nothing mushy, but just the "how's your day" emails on a regular basis are new within last 2 - 3 mos, and pretty regular. It is still confusing for me because I can't identify anything at all that I did differently to bring any of this on. Does this mean that what I've routinely been doing for the last couple of months is working, that I need to just keep on rather than keep looking for new things to do better?
On my other shoulder sits the devil reminding me that: --H calls OW on phone as much as or more than ever; --they exchange mushy emails at work while I'm happy that he even emailed to ask how my day is going --they phone each other at work, mushy conversations, I'm sure --H slept really well last nite after not sleeping for quite a while. A really nasty little voice in the back of my mind keeps saying its because he spent yesterday afternoon madly & passionately ml w/ow, and that sitting next to me and holding hands, etc, is just from guilt (we didn't ml last night....both of us just went to sleep!) Nasty little devil reminds me that I didnt do anything to bring out more "good stuff" so it has to just be that he's doing it from guilt, because there's nothing I can do....
So, I guess this Momma needs some thoughts from others __ what do you all see here -- to stay on the "morphing into hot" track!
