The Next Day...

[mahhhty]

1st: New England Newcomer
2nd: So I am divorced.
3rd: I hucked a waterfall.
4th: Just Fishin'
5th: Six to Nine

My goodness, my last post on the previous thread was cathartic. No doubt I will have ups and downs, but the rest has got to be about My Kids and I, and nothing about her. No more tests. No more impacts. No more approaching her.

My previous thread was all about what GB called the PTSD part of the Divorce when things go quiet and people get a little edgy. I thought I did well, until the end. At the end of the day, I did my best and listened to my gut (which happened to be wrong, but I will learn).

So what does The Next Day of the Rest of My Life look like...

"Don't get mad. Don't get even. Do better. Much better. Rise above. Become so engulfed in your own success that you forget it ever happened." - Anonymous

"If you want to be more attractive make a decision to live in a beautiful state. To say, I'm not going to give up my happiness over little stuff. I'm not going to be obsessed about things I can't control. I'm going to focus on what I can control and can do. And when people are generous, when they are playful, when they are warm, when they are sincere, when they are loving. People love to be around them. There is nothing more attractive. And when someone is always bitching, always complaining, always whining, always blaming someone else, always fearful or always worried. They are a bummer to be around. Just pick it out. So what does it take to be attractive, what it really takes is appreciating your life. Most people their upsets are because their expectations aren't meet. They expect people to be a certain way, expect yourself to be a certain way, expect the government to be a certain way. And it isn't. I always tell people to trade their expectations for appreciation. And your whole life will change like that. If you can just start appreciating the people around you, appreciate this moment, appreciating the things you aren't noticing, you will live in a beautiful state. And other people will find being around you an attractive or enjoyable experience, its that simple." - T. Robbins

Kids... My relationship with my them has never been better. My D asked if she had to go to X's on Christmas b/c she wanted to wake up here. This is the only place she has ever known on Christmas morning. I felt bad for X, but those are the consequences of her decisions. Last night we had a ton of fun running around the house and playing.

Work...
My startup is happening. Every day it is closer. Letter of Intent on the building is next Wednesday. Social media presence kicked off last week. Website going live today (only a small portion of the whole website). No products in stock yet to sell, but we have a lot of people/suppliers on hook or interested. I have a verbal agreement with my first full time employee to start in June. I have a showing to a potential renter for additional space I am purchasing on Sunday (risk management move). And in two weeks a meeting with a potential partner to discuss a merger (to raise more capital and the ability to sell more product).

Woman... No idea. I'm flirtatious enough. But my friends have bugged me for awhile to let them set me up on blind dates. I'm not sure if thats my thing. I'm in no rush.

[Vanilla]

Shift happens in an instant. Watch the changes pile one on one. No stopping.

Are you ready to push the spiritual connection to your higher power?

There is no way you can now unknow.

V

[gonegrl]

Mahhhty, I just went back and read your letter. Wow. I am sitting here with tears running down my cheeks. That was cathartic for you to write, but also helped me to read it. I don't know where I am headed, but I want to get there with the grace and compassion that you have embodied.

I wish this board wasn't anonymous so I could support your business! I wish you the very best of success in your work life, with your children, and with whatever personal endeavors you might pursue. Some woman out there is going to be very lucky some day when she meets you.

It seems like one by one the DB'ers are moving on and doing well.

[Dawgs]

Mahhhty, I just went back and read your letter.

Can you point me to this letter? I would like to read it myself. Thanks!

[gonegrl]

Spiff, look at Mahhty's last thread (thread 5 I believe) and his last post on that thread.

[Vanilla]

Start here

Mahhty awakes

V

[mahhhty]

Yep. I guess I wrote two letters. Thread five last post and a couple posts before that. The last one I didn't give to her but the one before that I did. I started the first letter the day she moved out. It had no impact on her when she read it.

Its true what people say on these forums. The advice they give it is spot on truth. I tried many things and made up many reasons why my situation was different but it wasn't. I wanted to believe it was so that I could DB through the path of least resistance. But that doesn't happen. Heed my warning. Stay the course.

V - I'm ready!

[Mozza]

Still so much going on in your sitch, so much change. You are sensitive and this D has blown a big hole in whatever shell you had, and now it's all exposed. For so long, you relied on her to close that hole because she had blown it open. And now it sounds like you have taken it upon yourself to heal, without expecting anything of her anymore. Of course, I also think it's the right track, as these people have moved on or at least or detached in a way that we can't fathom in our pain. This may well be the beginning of a new path for you, one that will bring you more solace than ever.

[Ancaire]

Hi Mahhhty, I just caught up on your situation. Mine moved at lightening speed, but we're at about roughly the same place now: Disillusioned with X and dropping the rope. The LAST place I wanted to be when I first arrived here, but the best place for me to be at present.

I would love to write my H a letter. One that expresses all my regrets and sorrows, things I wish I'd done differently, how I could do better...oh, wait! I DID! I made the mistake of e-mailing it to him, and he forwarded it to OW for advice. The betrayal still aches. I find it ironic that his sharing my letter actually hurts me so much more than his cheating.

I'm determined to work on me. Heal. Be the best I can be. The best revenge is to live well, right? Seriously, I'm on the journey of a lifetime towards something greater. I know you are, too.

I'll keep checking in to see how you're doing on your journey.

[Vanilla]

Anc

I will post on your thread about the letter. There is a place in Zs thread (Zelda) where letters play a role and I sense much to know. I believe this betrayal is a positive thing.

V