Actually, it WAS Mr. W. who walked out. He didn't give me an ultimatum. By the time he told me, his mind was already made up and he had been out looking for apartments.
He's still living in one, though he has now told me he doesn't want to D...
When I was ready to walk out, I took a trip by myself to clear my head. Something about leaving town makes me see things better. I realized that my soul hurt beyond belief, and it would be wiser for me to work on myself rather than leave.
I had entered IC 2 months before, but hadn't opened up to her to the point where she could really help me. I was in IC for nearly a year, and it really helped. I finally got a handle on why I felt so awful and hopeless... much of it had to do with grieving that I had not taken the time to do.
We have a developmentally disabled D7, and were so busy fighting fires with her medical problems that we didn't take the time to nurture each other or ourselves. I believe that he didn't even know he needed to grieve to feel better.
You can only change yourself and how you see things. That's what I've spent the past 15 months doing. I realize that it's going to take a whole lot of patience to watch him go through the stuff I went through 2 years ago, but I imagine it will be worthwhile.
Hopefully, your H will end his A and take the time to realize and understand that running doesn't address the problem that is still present: him.
Take care and keep up the great work!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
