Deb--Well, it sucks that we have to go to the University of Hard Knocks to learn hard lessons, doesn't it? Every time I start to think along the lines of "woe is me" I remember something my boss says to me from time to time:
Now that you're taking classes at the U of HK, if you don't graduate magna cum laude, it's your own fault!
Yikes!
As far as your questions on the A goes, I'm actually the one who had the EA (nearly PA)... and also nearly the WAW. So I will answer your questions from my own perspective:
The EA lasted about 11 months. The new wore off after about 5 months.
What contributed to the end? I realized that I had absolutely NO bargaining power with my soon to walk out H if I was still in contact with my friend. I wanted to reconcile, and although the OM was only a symptom of our problems, I knew that his presence even as a friend (he's my childhood friend) would thwart any attempts at my sincerity to do so.
I believe I just answered the 3rd question too.
I think I'm pretty much along the lines of the spouses who leave for OP. I came awfully close to doing that myself, only because I felt that being miserably married to Mr. Wonderful was not an option anymore, and I found someone who valued me from a variety of perspectives.
Of course I didn't leave and I figured out the reason I was miserably married to Mr. W. was a lot of my own doing. Of course, he has his hangups and they had to be discovered on his own....
Just keep doing more of what you're doing. When he finally figures this all out himself, you're going to be in a swell place if you do.
Hugs,
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
