Thank you, thank you so much Anicaire, for all your comments and kindness. They mean so much to me.
Originally Posted By: Ancaire
Hi focus! I've just caught up on your thread. You figured out early on that you needed to drop the rope. Good for you! However, it is so much more easily said than done, right? I used to wonder whether my H was MLC or WAS. In the end, it really doesn't matter. H is gone, lost to whatever impulse is driving him. I so desperately wanted to "save" my H from his bad decisions. I almost ruined myself instead.
It's been going on for so long now, this awful situation, and it's drained the life out of me for a number of years now.
In a way, leaving is one of the best things he's done. It's given me peace and quiet, no more 'treading on eggshells' feeling all the time, no more dealing with his roller coaster all the time. I have more focus now too.
Originally Posted By: Ancaire
What I've learned is there is really nothing you can do once OW is involved. Nothing for H. There is plenty you can do for yourself. It is everything you do for yourself that will matter in the long run, whether H comes to his senses or not. By choosing to focus on you, you grow as a person, you become strong enough to deal with whatever may come, and you reach a point a calmness.
You will radiate serenity and calmness, thus there is no need to worry about what H has to say about you to people at work. They will observe you, working and going about with dignity and integrity; they will observe H, clearly making bad decisions and gossiping like a teenager. Why say anything at all? Actions speak way louder than words.
Yes, I agree. We work in the same industry. And because of who he is in the industry, I'm known as 'his wife'. He's very, very good at what he does and everybody adores him.
I think a few people have twigged what's going on (some of the older, wiser ones). But the other day, I was complemented the other on being very professional, looking well turned out and well cared for, by someone I really look up to (she's aware of what's going on). It meant so much to me.
Originally Posted By: Ancaire
I'm really sorry this happened to you. It's absolutely awful, isn't it?
I never knew pain like this existed in the world.
Had a bit of a tough time this evening. I thought I was going to have to run out of a room at one point I felt so bad. But I stuck it out and I don't think anyone noticed how bad I was feeling.
Sorry if this is all a bit scrambled/I'm still very tired.
