Whoa, thanks, T2, I needed to hear that. I've certainly thought of her as having sold out and being "tainted", but your perspective is much deeper.
I suspect he's with her this afternoon under guise of doing paperwork....this is pretty standard, usually on Saturday but we were busy w/party for D's wedding.... It does help to put it in perspective....I personally can't imagine what it must be like to be hanging on to someone who hasn't left their w/family....I don't see her very often, but she looks irritable when I do (all 3 of us are co-workers...fun fun) I only hope someday he will come to see her/the A for what it truely is.... He has said (2 weeks ago) that he would "need time to see it for what it is" (his exact words, not mine) and said that he couldnt understand why I couldnt understand that and be patient....that if affairs usually burn out,there was nothing to worry about...makes no sense to me, but I guess it did to him.
He has started the process though of looking for a new job....My Mom suggested that it looks like he's trying to put some distance between them. I sure hope that's right and that he finds one....Soon!
I'm doing ok today inspite of knowing where he is ....small steps for me, I guess. I'm finding that it is still hard, but I do much better when I'm thinking about things to look foward to...I've gotten the details on golf lessons, don't know if I'll like it, but going to schedule those w/in next month.... Detach, Detach, Detach.....I notice that he seems to be much warmer to me when I'm happier and have "her" shoved to the back of my mind....
It's kind of weird and almost frightens me, because I'm afraid I'm out of touch with reality, but deep down in my heart, I don't believe he is going to leave. I don't think he wants to...I know he needed our R to change, as I did, and I believe it's improved tremendously. He seems so much warmer to me than he did 8 or 9 mos. ago....I can only hope he feels it too.
