Back on these forums again 3

[Mona52]

Me: Life does not work that way H. I waited 3 years for you. In love with you every day. While you lived with another bit(oops, another bad word). I was overjoyed the night in the car when my living he|| was finally over and you came home. Then, another woman on the computer, then these words:

Me: Throughout the years my wife and I have had our ups and downs. There have been many times that we have wanted to kill each other. But, with all that being said and even during the times where I was an absolute monster to her, she stood by my side. I just wanted everyone to know that

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His words cover 2 of my text messages. He wrote the following, but I ignored what he wrote here while I was typing, but I will get to it later
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H: I remember that. I wrote it. But, you changed and more than likely it way my fault. I take full responsibility for it. I'm sry I hurt you.

H: But you were quite clear when you told me "Your words mean nothing to me anymore"

Me: I love her and that no matter what the future has in store for us, I will always love her. There is no one else in the world who understands me like she does or is able to put up with my stupidity. I'm Sorry I'm not the husband you deserve that I wasn't there to listen when you needed your best friend. Nothing matters more than your love.

Me: Than, I begged you in every way I could to get off the computer and help me with the kids.

Me: You answered me by making me sleep alone night after night. you made promises, (Mona, I will get your father a head stone...) you broke your promises to me. It was no big deal. I didnt matter.

Me: Last November I realized I was not in love with you any more. And I started to leave you. It made zero change in your life. you barely noticed.

H: I understand I've let you down and see your point. I concede to everything you are saying. I think you fell out of love long before that.

Me: I asked you to leave in August. Since then you have not lifted a finger to help me with the kids. AND I DON'T MEAN MONEY. You wont help with ANYTHING.

Me: I've yelled, I've cried, I've pleaded, I've asked nice, i've made it as easy as possible for you to help me. In every way you were the biggest as(oops, I added another s making it a swear word...) ever

H: Again, you are right

Me: For the kids and my sanity I wanted to be friends. I am not dropping support because your kids have bills. If you 'slip into depression' that is in no way my fault.

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now I finally read the texts he sent me during my ranting session
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Me: And I said your words mean nothing because you break your word, every day. You still do. It was actions I was looking for. Not words, actions.

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Ok, it is not over, I get way worse in the DB'ing department. But the CRAZY BLAME GAME is over. MWD would slap the marriage out of me if she saw how i blamed all over my H...
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