Oh man. Have a knot in my stomach.

He just emailed he wants to talk tomorrow night for a bit. Just about what's going to happen in the near future, finances, apartments, our D, christmas etc.
These are the things that knock me off my feet. Makes everything seem so real etc. I hate it. I don't want to talk about money. It scares me. Can't explain why. I'm at his mercy.

Feel like I'm back at square one.