I don't even know if I am invited or what is happening for Christmas. I never liked the idea of having Christmas at the inlaws, it doesn't allow of us as a family to create our own traditions, to have that close time together, for me to feel at home to relax and be myself. I felt like I was my W brother with her parents in charge and us following the rules of their house.
That's what a young family needs to do, at least have a little time. They have to start when the kids are small and begin their own holiday traditions. The grandparents naturally want the kids and grandkids over, but you just have to work your own time in with them. Your W may want to cling to her own childhood Christmas memories at her parents, and it could hinder from making her own family traditions. These issues become more intense when the M is on the rocks.
We use to have Santa Clause for the kids and give each other gifts on Christmas morning. Then we would scurry around and get over to the grandparents. The grandparents had their time when their own children were growing up. They should understand that now you deserve to have your time with your small ones.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
