Bought the book, "Codependent No More" as an e-book and will start reading tonight.
Awsome, there is some great stuff for virtually anyone here. There is certainly healthy attachment which I believe a good marriage needs to survive, then there is unhealthy attachmnet. I hope the book will help you to see the difference.
Had a calm conversation with H in which I outlined my idea to repay out of pocket costs he had to pay related to my accident. Insisted any agreement we come to be in writing to add to Divorce documents. Asked for written confirmation of the costs. He finally told me insurance did cover his friend's truck, but it wouldn't pay for the tree I hit. They're claiming the tree is worth $5000. LOL
I will continue to be calm and insist on getting agreements in writing and signed. I'm not being mean about it either. I'm just claiming I need it for the Lawyers. I completely ignored all H's self-pitying comments and jabs at me this time. It helps to know exactly what it is I need to discuss, keep to the topic, and leave when the conversation begins to change.
I think my willingness to make amends, while not on his terms but clearly to his benefit, might be helping calm the situation a bit. I'm still having trouble breathing along with a racing, pounding heart. I'm resting and practicing deep breathing. I love your heart here. It may not help in the long run, because sometimeshe no matter what we do we are the enemy. But you are being true to yourself in this, right? That is all you can do.
I'm losing so much. The roof over my head, leaving my twins here, and my pets (2 cats and a dog.) The boys are happy here. My mom is allergic to my beloved fur babies. I can't afford them anyways. All my kids in the same town for the first time in years. First grandchild on the way....and I have to move to a city 3 hours away with just a suitcase.
I am so sorry to hear this. I've not the words, nor can I understand what you are going though. I am swinging strength today.
I'm trying not to focus on it so much, because I need to worry less about what I'm losing and more about what I'm gaining...but it's hard. It will be so nice to be around someone who truly loves me.
I heard something yesterday that made me say, that is just stupid. Then like 10 minutes later I had to write it down. And stare at it.
'There is no past, there is no future, only right now.'
We can't live in the past anymore. Our spouses are not the same as who they are. We aren't either.
We have no idea what the future holds, which although may seem scary...is actually starting to excited me because I am starting to treat this life as an adventure instead of a scripted path that had been set for ever. No wonder she got bored with me...oh and I was just as bored.
Today, right now is all we really have. Go have yourself a good day, I thought I typed you a note about going a treating yourself to something different, yesterdsy but can't seem to find it (wonder how many posts didn't load that I've typed over the months).
Go and do something for you TODAY. You said it will be nice to be around someone who truly loves you...it starts with you loving yourself. Even if it something as silly as going to an ice cream parlor to have a Sunday and read a book...that is a treat for you. Start treating yourself like you are worthy of love, BECAUSE YOU ARE!
