Oh, sweetie! I was hoping your silence meant good things. Please listen to Asitis on this. It's obvious now that the problems are all with H. You could have been perfect and it wouldn't have been good enough. It's hard to realize there is literally nothing you can do...but sometimes that realization is absolutely freeing. You don't have to worry anymore about what you can do differently, what you should have been doing, what you should say, etc.
You're free to be you now. Live for yourself and your kids. H is lost for now. You can pray for him, but don't spend any time worrying about him. Just heal at the moment.
