I'm back and my heart is broken

[asitis]

I'm sorry H is acting like an inconsiderate a$$hole. I know it hurts like h*ll, but it was going to be something that came out eventually to your family. It also shows how insensitive he is at this stage in his life, and how much what is going on is about him, and not about you and your M. I hope you see that there is some comfort in that. Remember that DBing skills work w/ family too. Just calm the situation for everyone, let the dust settle, see where you are then, and decide how to proceed.

You probably don't have to be reminded that his behavior confirms that it is so much less about your M or you than it is about him and the really bad phase he is going through and not doing all that well responding to. It would be worse if he broke of with dopie for nothing waiting in the wings - he is still clearly searching for that panacea to heal the wounds he is struggling with. That doesn't probably make it hurt any less.

Hang in there. Let the dust settle, and then decide how you want to proceed given this new development.