Firstly I'm honoured that you read my threads. I've admired your thread and your posts in other threads from afar.
Some of my logic back at the Oct BD was a bit skewed by my panic and spinning from what I thought was a SSM with almost all other aspects of my MR being either good or ok.
I thought - solve the sex problem and everything would get back on track.
After reading Sandi2 WW threads and reading NMMNG and hold on to your NUTS, and other threads, and looking into my memory of the last 3 years since reconciliation in 2012, I've concluded that W never really switched back onto me at that reconciliation. I fixed me , but we didn't fix US.
The Reconciliation took 6 months of hard DBing by me, and I turned myself around from a miserable sod to a good guy, who supported and listened to W and was good with WOA, and gift buying. The bit we didn't solve was the sex. We tried, she tried for a about 18 months. NB when we do have sex it's usually good, it's just the getting started. At the end she would usually say, we need to do it more often.
She started to put up more and more barriers and I reverted to Nice Guy tactics, and buried my head in the sand.
Also we never went on enough dates with just the two of us. Only to the movies, occasional meals and a yearly trip to London for her birthday.
At the same time as the barriers to sex and making time and putting preconditions on where sex would take place - she would start to do more social stuff with her friends and less with me. She thinks to herself, he's a good H (supportive, WOA,gifts etc) , but I don't love him, and don't want sex with him. She slowly withdraw with no complaints, ......then I complain and it's a BD.
She wants us to separate after Xmas, me to leave the family home, because she is the primary carer especially as I work away a fair bit. D has been touched upon, but not really mentioned.
I can't give her physical touch. She started to massage her own foot two days ago so I offered a foot rub and she said 'no it would be weird'. Shoulder rub is a possibility. Usually I can also pull my fingers through her long hair - she likes that. But she will get our boys to brush her hair - they like to do it.
I can do WOA , her 2nd LL, ,you look good in that dress, gym gear, your hair is great etc.
More tomorrow , it's late. Thanks for looking in.
Me49 W45 T15 M13 S11 S8 BD 11/15/11 & 3/27/12 Moved out 4/9/12 Moved back 4/23/12 W working on US 5/20/12 Now Piecing! May-Oct14 drifting Dec 14 W agrees to more QT BD Oct15 ILYBINILWY W filed 1/25/16