Jpeg, like most of us here, you love your husband. You love your husband unconditionally. What a gift! I can't save mine right now, but I make a point of reminding the kids every so often that I still love him, worry about him, and pray for him. My husband's parents divorced when he was very young. I suspect his childhood was much worse than I'm aware. This MLC has to run its course. Your H is having moments of clarity. Mine does, too, occasionally before sinking back down in the muck.
I don't want to be divorced. I have to go live with my mother for a while. Literally being thrown away...I understand how you feel. In your case, a D will help protect you financially. You can keep your assets safe. You can stop him, legally, from taking OW to cottage. You can always remarry later, if that is what is meant to be. Divorce doesn't have to mean the end.
I remind the kids I still love H because I hate D. I think it's too easy to get. Too many people treating marriage as a "for now" kind of thing. I hope they learn from watching him mess up over and over again, while I stand strong and silent, loving and praying, until he hopefully wakes up one day. I really love him enough to do that. I want my kids to see at least one parent honoring and keeping their vows. Hopefully if a stressful time in marriage comes along in their future, they can choose to live with integrity, having witnessed the flip side, living on emotion.
You'll be ok, Jpeg. It's just an awful situation. You are a wonderful, warm, caring woman with plenty of strength to meet the challenge.
